Hard Heart

Do I see god through my eyes because I refuse to see my sin through God’s eyes?

If only I could see God for who He really is, wouldn’t my faith increase greatly?  Is my lack of faith a gauge of how little I know about God?  What keeps me from growing in the knowledge of Him and of His Son?

Do I see god through my eyes because I refuse to see my sin through God’s eyes -have I turned a blind eye to sin?  I continually lie to myself regarding my actions and thoughts ultimately justifying my sins and negating my need for a savior.

In doing so, am I not partnering with the enemy and hardening my heart towards God?

Yeah, He continues to love me however, have I not willingly removed myself from His blessings to receive the counterfeit blessings of the enemy?  Why am I surprised with the fruit of my choice?

How foolish I am.  Am I not the prodigal son?  When will I humble myself and go home?1

What am I afraid of?  Won’t I be returning to a God of love?  What stands in my path?  What ground have I given to the enemy along the way?  Have I traveled so far that I need to take the ground back one step at a time?  Is it a hardened heart that blocks my way?

My Prayer:  God, please show me how and where I have agreed with the enemy so that I may return, wholeheartedly, to You.  Please give me the grace to start the journey and sustain me along the way with Your grace that I may finish in Your strong arms of love.

When I look in the mirror I don’t see the effects of idolizing food, but when I see a picture I see truth.  Have I not agreed with the father of lies when I look in the mirror and don’t see the effects my sin?  My sin is ever before me, I carry it every where I go, yet I don’t see it anymore.  My heart is brazen and hard.

I flaunt my rebellion in front of You, a loving Savior and God, while pretending to love You and be obedient.  My heart is hard; how else can I cover myself with sin and sing your praises?

When I don’t like what I see, I look away.  God, in Your mercy, please open my eyes and give me the grace to not look away from my sin but to repent.  Please God help me, I have created such a distance between me and You that I don’t know who You are.  Please remove the fog of deception and allow me to see clearly my need for a savior that I may fulfill the purposes for which You created me.  Please remove this hardened heart and give me a heart of flesh that I would be sensitive to the promptings of Your Holy Spirit.  That I would receive Your love and share it with everyone I meet.  Break my heart with what breaks Yours.  Please give me a heart of flesh and restore me to the image of You as You created me.

 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.  A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.  And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them. 2


What have I become?  I don’t love like You, act like You or talk like You.3 Forgive me for turning away and claiming the enemy as my father by becoming like him. 4

Search me to the depths of my being, allow Your Holy Spirit to convict me.5 Allow me to receive Your grace to the fullest and confess my sins in agreement with You.  Please give me the gift of repentance that I may receive Your mercy and partake of the body and blood of Your Son, Jesus the Christ.  Renew a right spirit within me.6

Thank You for hearing me.  In faith I receive Your Grace, Your mercy and Your love expressed through Your Son, Jesus the Christ.  Amen.




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A man, husband and father, struggling to be a blessing in the lives of others.

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